Charlie is One!

It is hard to believe that this time last year I was in the hospital awaiting the best gift I have ever received. I think back to the things that were running through my mind.. "I wonder if it's a boy or a girl? What will he/she look like? What are we going to name him if its a boy!?!" I think it is safe to say, I truly underestimated the significance of it all. I mean, I knew I was going to have a baby and that's a pretty big deal, but the whirlwind of emotions and life-changes that would shortly ensue weren't even a drop in the bucket of my thoughts. The moment when the doctor placed her in my arms is forever etched in my heart. It was one of the greatest moments of my life. In that instant, Dan and I became a family.

A friend of mine called to congratulate me on her birth and said the truest, most heart wrenching words to me, "Congrats Sue, now part of your heart is on the outside".  That summed up exactly how I felt. I wanted the world to see, but at the same time I felt vulnerable and needed to protect her from the scary things in this world. I'm sure this feeling will carry through my entire life.

It is hard to imagine what life was like without my Chachi. Yes, it was only a year ago, but honestly what did I think about before?? I have no idea!! Thoughts about our family consume my mind. As most of you know, Charlie was not planned. Well, I should say she wasn't in mine or Dan's immediate plans.  Clearly, she was in God's plan. It's like she was put on this earth to remind me He really does know what He's doing up there! Dan and I dated for just a few months before we got engaged and then shortly married. Our friends thought we were nuts! All we could say is 'it just feels... right." I can say the same for Charlie. Even though she was colicky and didn't stop crying... ever, it always felt right to have her. It's like I never knew something was missing until I found it (applies to both Dan and Char!). *note* Dan will probably be mad at me that I didn't throw the dogs in there too and although I love them dearly... it just isn't the same! Looking back on the past year, it's hard to remember the many-a-sleepless-nights walking up and down the hallway trying to soothe an inconsolable baby.  What I do see is the first time she smiled at me, the first time she reached for me, I hear 'Ah-goo' and the first time she said 'Ma-Ma'. All the doubts that I have in myself for being a flawed human being, there is one thing I know for sure— I must've done something right to deserve such a blessing.

Now that I am a sobbing mess at work... here are a few pics from her 1st bday shoot :)